What Epictetus Teaches About Control
Life can feel like a roller coaster. Sometimes it’s fun, and sometimes it’s scary. We all wish we could control more of it. Epictetus, a very wise old philosopher, thought a lot about control. He had some simple, powerful ideas about what we can and cannot control. Let’s explore what he taught us.
The Big Idea: What’s Up to Us?
Epictetus had a very clear way of looking at things. He said some things are up to us, and some things are not up to us. This is the most important thing to remember.
What is Up to Us?
So, what exactly is “up to us”? Epictetus said it’s our thoughts. It’s our own opinions. It’s what we desire. It’s what we dislike. It’s our own judgments.
Your Own Mind
Think about it this way. No one can force you to think a certain way. No one can make you believe something if you don’t want to. Your mind is your own little kingdom. You get to decide what goes on inside it.
Your Choices
Even when things are tough, you still have a choice. You can choose how you react. You can choose your attitude. This is where your power lies.
What is NOT Up to Us?
Now for the other side of the coin. What is not up to us? Epictetus listed many things. Your body is one. Other people are another. Your possessions are also not truly yours.
Your Body
Your body can get sick. It can get old. It can get hurt. You can try to keep it healthy, of course. But you can’t control if a fever comes. You can’t control if you get a scrape.
Other People
Other people do what they want. They say what they want. You can’t make them be nice. You can’t make them agree with you. Their actions and words are their own.
Your Stuff
That shiny new phone? It can break. It can get lost. Or someone can steal it. Even if you buy a house, you might have to move. Your belongings are borrowed time, really.
Why This Matters
Understanding this difference is like finding a secret map. It helps you navigate life much better. It stops a lot of unnecessary worry.
Stop Worrying About What You Can’t Change
If you know you can’t control something, why fret about it? Worrying is like trying to push a mountain. It’s a wasted effort.
Focus Your Energy
Instead of worrying about what’s out of your hands, put your energy where it counts. Focus on your own thoughts and actions. That’s where you have real power.
The Art of Acceptance
Epictetus taught us to accept what we cannot change. This isn’t giving up. It’s being smart. It’s being realistic.
Accepting Reality
It means looking at things as they are. Not as we wish they were. If it starts raining, we accept it. We don’t yell at the sky.
Finding Peace in Acceptance
When you stop fighting what is, you find peace. You stop wasting energy on lost causes. You can then deal with things calmly.
The Power of Our Judgments
Epictetus said our judgments are key. What we think about things matters more than the things themselves.
Things Don’t Upset Us, Our Thoughts About Them Do
Imagine dropping your ice cream cone. The dropped ice cream is sad. But it’s your thought that it’s a disaster that makes you really upset.
Your Opinion is Your Choice
You can choose to think, “Oh well, that’s a bummer. I’ll get another one.” Or you can think, “My life is ruined!” The choice is yours.
Challenging Your Thoughts
When you feel upset about something, ask yourself: Is this really as bad as I think? What is my judgment here? Can I see this differently?
Dealing with Other People
This is a big one for many people. We often get frustrated with others.
They Are Who They Are
Remember, other people are not up to us. They have their own minds. They have their own choices. Trying to change them is like trying to change the weather.
Be Kind, But Set Boundaries
You don’t have to like everyone’s behavior. You can choose not to spend time with people who are constantly negative. But you don’t need to get angry at them for being themselves.
Focus on Your Own Behavior
You can control how you interact with them. You can choose to be polite. You can choose to leave the conversation. That’s your power.
Handling Difficult Events
Life throws curveballs. Sometimes they are big.
What is Disaster?
A job loss, a breakup, or a health scare can feel like the end of the world. But Epictetus would remind us that these are external events. Our reaction is what defines them for us.
Our Response is Everything
Are you going to let a setback crush you? Or are you going to see it as a chance to learn and grow? You choose your response.
Learning from Challenges
Even the worst events can teach us something valuable. They show us what we’re made of. They can strengthen us.
The True Meaning of Freedom
Epictetus believed that true freedom comes from understanding what is within our control.
Freedom from External Things
When you stop needing things to be a certain way to be happy, you become free. You are not dependent on luck or other people.
Inner Peace is the Goal
The ultimate goal is to have a calm and steady mind. No matter what is happening around you. This inner peace is the real prize.
Practice Makes Perfect
Learning to focus on what’s up to us takes practice. It’s like learning a new skill. You won’t get it right away.
Start Small
Begin with little things. When you miss your bus, notice your first thought. Is it anger? Can you just think, “Okay, the next one will come”?
Daily Reflection
Take a few minutes each day to think about your day. What did you control? What did you not control? Did you react well to things outside your control?
Be Patient With Yourself
There will be days when you get frustrated. That’s normal. Just gently bring yourself back to the core idea: focus on what’s up to you.
The Difference Between Good and Bad Things
Epictetus saw good and bad things differently than most people.
Good Things are Virtues
For him, the only truly good things are virtues. Things like wisdom, justice, courage, and self-control. These are things you cultivate within yourself.
Bad Things are Vices
The only truly bad things are vices. Things like ignorance, injustice, cowardice, and greed. These are also things within our own minds.
Everything Else is Indifferent
Everything else – health, wealth, reputation, even life and death – are called “indifferents.” They are not good or bad in themselves. They are neutral.
How We Use Them Makes Them Seem Good or Bad
It’s how we use these indifferents that gives them value. For example, money is an indifferent. You can use money to help others (good use). Or you can use it to become greedy and selfish (bad use).
Your Character is What Matters Most
Ultimately, what truly matters is the kind of person you become. Are you wise? Are you just? Are you brave? This is your work.
Living in Accordance with Nature
Another important idea is living in a way that feels natural and sensible.
Nature’s Order
Epictetus believed there is a natural order to things. Our job is to understand this order and live in harmony with it.
Reason is Our Guide
We have the gift of reason, our ability to think logically. We should use this reason to guide our actions and understand the world.
Virtue as Natural
Living virtuously feels the most natural and fulfilling way to live. It’s like eating healthy food – it’s good for you and makes you feel good.
Accepting Our Lot
Part of living naturally is accepting our role in life. This doesn’t mean being passive. It means doing our best with what we have been given.
The Stoic’s Goal: Serenity
The aim of these lessons is to achieve a state of serenity. A calm and unshaken mind.
An Unshakeable Inner State
Imagine a tree in a storm. The branches might sway, but the roots hold firm. A Stoic aims for that firm grounding within themselves.
Peace in a Chaotic World
In a world that often feels chaotic, this inner peace is a wonderful gift. It’s a refuge you carry with you.
It’s Not About Being Emotionless
It’s important to understand that Stoicism isn’t about stuffing down your feelings. It’s about not being ruled by strong, negative emotions.
Managing Emotions, Not Erasing Them
You can feel sadness when something bad happens. But you don’t have to let it consume you. You can acknowledge it and then let it pass.
The Practical Takeaway
So, what does all this mean for you and me today?
Focus on Your Inner World
When you feel stressed or upset, ask yourself: “Is this something I can control?” If it’s about your thoughts, opinions, or immediate actions, then yes. Dive in and work on that.
Let Go of the Rest
If it’s about the weather, traffic, or what someone else said, let it go. Breathe. Accept it.
Your Daily Practice
Make it a daily habit to check in with yourself. Are you spending your energy wisely? Are you focusing on your own character and choices?
This is a journey. It’s not about being perfect. It’s about making progress. By understanding what Epictetus teaches about control, we can find a calmer, stronger way to live. We can stop fighting battles we can’t win and focus on cultivating the strength that is truly ours.
FAQs
What is the main teaching of Epictetus about control?
Epictetus teaches that individuals should focus on what they can control, such as their thoughts, actions, and attitudes, rather than becoming preoccupied with external events or circumstances.
How does Epictetus advise people to approach situations beyond their control?
Epictetus advises individuals to accept and adapt to situations beyond their control, recognizing that they cannot change external events but can control their response to them.
What are some practical strategies recommended by Epictetus for maintaining a sense of control?
Epictetus recommends practicing self-discipline, mindfulness, and rational thinking to maintain a sense of control in the face of challenging circumstances.
How does Epictetus’ teachings on control relate to modern psychological concepts?
Epictetus’ teachings on control align with modern psychological concepts such as cognitive-behavioral therapy, mindfulness-based approaches, and resilience training, emphasizing the importance of focusing on internal factors within one’s control.
What impact can applying Epictetus’ teachings about control have on individuals’ well-being?
Applying Epictetus’ teachings about control can lead to increased resilience, emotional regulation, and a greater sense of agency and well-being, as individuals learn to focus on what they can control and let go of what they cannot.
